logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

preacher10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the soundman to have a few dozen extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE IN FOR A LONG SUNDAY SERMON
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only November!

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • mouse

    Church Mice Problem

    Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first pastor said, "Ya know,…
  • Default Image

    Moose Hunters

    Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good…
  • Default Image

    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
  • Default Image

    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
  • Default Image

    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
  • abstract grey purple

    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a…
  • Default Image

    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
  • Default Image

    What is Marketing?

    What is Marketing?You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am…
  • Default Image

    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
  • Default Image

    Out of the Loop

    Mr. Norton was in the hospital recovering from an operation when the nurse on duty…
  • Default Image

    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
  • Default Image

    Work Confusion

    A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.The man was…
  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
  • Default Image

    Think You're Having A Bad Day?

    So you think you're having a bad day. A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio…
  • Default Image

    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…