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More Jokes

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    Noah Glue

    Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

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    Positive Start

    How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
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    Overdue Rent

    Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings…
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    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…
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    Employee of the Month

    Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of…
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    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    Flashlight Defense

    A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an…
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    High Blood Pressure

    A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic…
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    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…

lemon*Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car*

10. Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.

9. The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.

8. The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.

7. The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."

6. The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.

5. Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you're taking.

4. The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries Not Included."

3. You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coals.

2. You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.

1. When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.

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