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    Sayings About Aging

    Thoughts on Growing Old ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else…
  • pictures of solar eclipse

    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
  • train station

    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…
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    Half Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her…
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    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
  • workshop

    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
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    Location Question

    Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into…
  • picture of a speedometer

    Back Seat Johnny

    A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little…
  • auto mechanic1

    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
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    IRS Call

    When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the…
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    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
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    You've Got Bottle

    A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of…
  • children play

    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Kids' Letters to the President

    Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and…

10.  "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9.  "Exterminator down!  Exterminator down!  Send backup!!!  Extermin..."

8.  "The GOOD news is...  you have termites."

7.  "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6.  "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5.  "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4.  "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3.  "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2.  "Bend over.  Your wife, too."

1.  "Shazbot!  I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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