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More Jokes

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    Martha's Way Vs My Way

    Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent…
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    The Points System

    For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of…
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    Back Seat Johnny

    A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little…
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    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
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    Surgery Plan

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
  • A funny joke about a dad and his son out fishing.

    Questions

    A man took his son fishing one day. After a few hours in the boat with not much to do,…
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    Ten Minute Wait

    I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped…
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    Earworms

    Earworms are songs that crawl into your head and stay. 98% of us have had a song stuck in…
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    Kiss Good-bye

    "Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you…
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    Analytical Gunfighters

    Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Simple Operation

    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

    Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...(especially when you share the same major!) PSYCHOLOGY: Girl…

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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