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More Jokes

  • Hudson river_plane

    NTSB Report on Flight 1549

    Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549. Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions…
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    More Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible! Anyone that flirts…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
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    Tip Revenge

    A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    100GB bug

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
  • university building

    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    F1 - Help

    My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Hand Dryers

    My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and…

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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