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More Jokes

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    Ploughing at Night

    A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends.…
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    Hog Mark-up

    My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next…
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    More things you would never know without the movies

    The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The…
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    Goober Stewardess

    An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Altar Call

    A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.After the…
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    State of the Pastor

    The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.He walked…
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    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…
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    Dad Shopping

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    A Primer For Accordion Beginners

    Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same.Do not tell…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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