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More Jokes

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    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Top Ten Toys You May Have Trouble Finding This Year

    10. Sister's Dollhouse and Night Vision Ninja Assassin 9. Tuba Hero - World Tour8. Low…
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    Theme Songs For Bible Characters

    Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus:…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed.As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
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    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Car Cow Sale

    A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a…
  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Threatening Letters

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening…
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    Lunch and Learn

    The company I work for sometimes holds "Lunch and Learn" seminars for employees during…
  • car theft

    Car Alarms

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    Does Your Dog Bite?

    A man was standing on the curb reading a newspaper, A great big dog was curled up at his…
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    Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…
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    CIA Note

    A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with…

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."

4) "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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