More Jokes

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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
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    If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
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    F1 - Help

    My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Smart Chauffer

    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found…
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    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Goober Painter

    Julie, the goober, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    High Blood Pressure

    A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic…
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    Out of this World Restaurant (groaner)

    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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    Pop Rocks

    Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio…
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    Quarter Back

    Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse:…

Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"

9) "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin..."

8) "The GOOD news is... you have termites."

7) "Do you happen to have a large net?"

6) "You know, I'm also a taxidermist."

5) "Ma'am, I'm afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me."


3) "Hi, I'm Willie Nelson and I'll be your exterminator today."

2) "Duck!"

1) "Shazbot! I accidentally killed Mindy!"

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