logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

10.  Well, how 'bout that?  I'm lost!  Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9.  You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates.  Won't that be fun?

8.  I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude.  I like that.

7.  Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car.  GO CRAZY!!

6.  What do you mean you wanna play football?  Figure skating's not good enough for you, son?

5.  Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend.  You might want to consider throwing a party.

4.  Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car.  Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something.  Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3.  No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring.  Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2.  Whaddya wanna go and get a job for?  I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1.  What do I want for my birthday?  Aahh -- don't worry about that.  It's no big deal.  (Okay, they might say it.  But they don't mean it)

More Jokes

  • drum

    Drum Sounds

    A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty…
  • Default Image

    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…
  • Default Image

    Bus Fare

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train…
  • Default Image

    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
  • cowboy tack

    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
  • Default Image

    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
  • Default Image

    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
  • Default Image

    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
  • Default Image

    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
  • plane war

    Commando Moses

    Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well,…
  • men strong

    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
  • Default Image

    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
  • Default Image

    Wrapping Help

    My wife asked me to help wrap Christmas presents this year, but I was watching football…
  • Default Image

    Dog Rules

    Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the…
  • Default Image

    Keyboard Switch

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…