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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
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    Lost In Canada

    An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what…
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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline

    Top Nine Stupid Questions Received by the Chap Stick Hotline9. "Hi, is this the chopstick…
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    Martha Raye, Stewardess

    I once went for a job at an airline. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a…
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    Circles

    During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed…
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    Songs For People Over 40

    *Top 10 Songs for People Over 40* 10. Let's Get a Physical 9. Ain't No Burrito Mild…
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    Things Dogs Should Try to Remember

    Things dogs should try to remember: The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…
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    School Curlers

    ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked…
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    Actual Call Center Conversations

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries.…
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    Forest Fire Fly By

    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest…

10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog.

9. Take up pork & beans skeet shooting.

8. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow.

7. Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener.

6. Convert weapons back to semi-auto.

5. Pitch "1000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people.

4. Return 753 videos to Blockbuster.

3. Water yard...one lousy gallon at a time.

2. Find grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of Ramen noodles.

1. Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors.

 

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