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  • tools

    Home Mechanic Tools

    Home Mechanics Tools and their usage: HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the…
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    Cart Ads

    My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising…
  • bride and groom

    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Primative Tech Support

    The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when…
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    Family Picnic

    The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant…
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    Kitchen Wizard

    My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she…
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    The Tie

    A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    Bible Answer

    A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Bagel Shop Student

    "Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. My…

10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog.

9. Take up pork & beans skeet shooting.

8. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow.

7. Cancel subscription to Stockpilers Quarterly, but keep the free can opener.

6. Convert weapons back to semi-auto.

5. Pitch "1000 Ideas for Wheat Gluten" to Martha Stewart's people.

4. Return 753 videos to Blockbuster.

3. Water yard...one lousy gallon at a time.

2. Find grocery store receipt for 10,000 packets of Ramen noodles.

1. Make friends with the 6 billion other Y2K survivors.

 

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