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More Jokes

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    Addicted to Thinking

    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.…
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    $100.00 Please

    A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.…
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    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…
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    How Gevernment Works

    Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress…
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    Sewing Lesson

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…
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    Dark Parachute Jumps

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Sunday Funnies

    One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship…
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    Sermon Interpretation

    One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her…
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    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    Airline Rage

    As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next…

Top Tips For Cheapskates

~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

~ When reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

~ Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb

~ Drill a one-inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

~ Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the car until you return.

~ Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers to "fast wipe"

whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~ Take your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

~ No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

~ Expensive hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

~ Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

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