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More Jokes

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    Watch This

    A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet…
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    Children Under Ten

    Mark Twain's contention was that the most interesting information comes from children,…
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    Kid Wisdom

    When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.Never tell your Mom…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
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    New Light Switch

    My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    Mouse Mom

    A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks…
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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Marry An Actor

    An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand…
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    Rolls-Royce Loaner

    When I arrived at a friend's home for a party, my old rattletrap looked pretty shabby…
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    Little Benny

    Little Benny came home from his first day of school and said, "Mommy, the teacher was…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    ~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.~ Santa…

Top Tips For Cheapskates

~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

~ When reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

~ Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb

~ Drill a one-inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

~ Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the car until you return.

~ Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers to "fast wipe"

whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~ Take your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

~ No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

~ Expensive hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

~ Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

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