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More Jokes

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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
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    Late Excuse

    Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story…
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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
  • milk2

    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…
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    Accounting Secret

    There was once an accounting firm where the senior CPA knew everything there was to know…
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    Steamed Goober

    Back in the good old days of steam engines, a goober who had spent his whole life in the…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
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    Three Expectant Fathers

    Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room. The nurse came out of the delivery room…
  • picture of hurricane evacuation sign route

    Florida Hurricane Advice

    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn…
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    Drought Conditions

    Two brothers, both farmers, were talking on the phone.One asked the other how bad the…
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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

    How To Please Your I.T. Department [A quick check list for those who need to make…
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    CIA Note

    A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…

Top Tips For Cheapskates

~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

~ When reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

~ Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb

~ Drill a one-inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

~ Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the car until you return.

~ Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers to "fast wipe"

whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~ Take your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

~ No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

~ Expensive hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

~ Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

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