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Here are some of the "All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists"

On nature...

How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?

At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk' ?"
Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
Tourist: "Oh"

Are the bears with collars tame?

Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I
store it in my tent?

Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?

Are there birds in Canada?

On geography...

Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? (while standing in the middle of Banff!)

Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?

How far is Banff from Canada?

What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

On tourist facilities...

Do they search you at the B.C. border?

When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

Where can I buy a racoon hat? ALL Canadians own one don't they?

Are there phones in Banff?

So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles? We're on the decibel
system you know.

Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

Is that 2 kilometres by foot or by car?

Don't you Canadians know anything?

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