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More Jokes

  • preacher

    Forgive Your Enemies

    The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a…
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    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Birds and Bees

    Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school. When the boy reached the…
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    First Time Babysitter

    A young girl was babysitting for the first time - beginning her shift shortly after…
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    First Job Hunting

    Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an…
  • couple bugged

    Impressive Dinner

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Fair Tax

    At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the…
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    Hospital Regulations

    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while…
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    Rough Flight

    The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:"I was on a plane last week,…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…

a toy carHonest Toy Disclaimers

* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.

* Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.

* Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.

* Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.

* Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.

* Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing it now! Cut that out!!

* In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.

* Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.

* Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.

* Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.

* NOTE: The makers of "Queen Amidala's Naboo Dream Palace" assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.

* Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.

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