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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    How High Can You Go?

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
  • picture of a turkey

    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Priest's Uniform

    A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Thanksgiving Blessing

    May your stuffing be tasty, May your holiday turkey be plump, May your potatoes ‘n gravy…
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    Goober Loot

    If you are wondering what a goober is, you can see one here. Two goobers, Bob and Joe,…
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    VIP Impression

    My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One…
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    What a Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
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    Clothing Return

    While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning…
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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
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    More Signs

    In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's…

a toy carHonest Toy Disclaimers

* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.

* Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.

* Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.

* Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.

* Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.

* Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing it now! Cut that out!!

* In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.

* Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.

* Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.

* Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.

* NOTE: The makers of "Queen Amidala's Naboo Dream Palace" assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.

* Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.

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