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More Jokes

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    Lost In Jail

    I was reviewing my client's case with him in prison when it was announced that visitors…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
  • childrens-hands

    Things I've Learned From My Children

    *Things I've Learned From My Children* 01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to…
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    Fly Bye

    A woman walked into her house to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
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    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Don't Repeat

    My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man.…
  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Needle Manners

    While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving…
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    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
  • woman old

    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
  • medical desk

    Doctor's Advice

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line.

* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is antiperspirant to put under your car's fenders.

* Traffic is always heavy in both directions. There are just as many people trying to get to whatever you're trying to get away from.

* You have mixed feelings when you see an opening in rush hour traffic. You're glad for the opening, but you wonder who died.

* It's useless to print roadmaps anymore. You just get on the highway and go wherever the other cars take you.

* The only way to get home from work on time is to take the day off... even then, you're cutting it close.

* Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry.

* You can sit on the highways forever. In fact, some places have little exit ramps where you can pull over and make a car payment.

* During rush hour the only way you can change lanes is to buy the car driving next to you.

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