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More Jokes

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    Wireless Security

    How to install a wireless security system:Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's…
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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Dinner Guests

    The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an…
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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Busy Mom

    My busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and pans on the stove with the burners…
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    AMAP

    The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I…
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    Delete Button

    Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My…
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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    Rattlesnake Ammo

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place in line.

* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next thing they'll be selling is antiperspirant to put under your car's fenders.

* Traffic is always heavy in both directions. There are just as many people trying to get to whatever you're trying to get away from.

* You have mixed feelings when you see an opening in rush hour traffic. You're glad for the opening, but you wonder who died.

* It's useless to print roadmaps anymore. You just get on the highway and go wherever the other cars take you.

* The only way to get home from work on time is to take the day off... even then, you're cutting it close.

* Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry.

* You can sit on the highways forever. In fact, some places have little exit ramps where you can pull over and make a car payment.

* During rush hour the only way you can change lanes is to buy the car driving next to you.

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