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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…
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    Horse Talk

    "Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I…
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    How to Bathe a Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet…
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    Dangerous Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    Getting Closer

    Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit.…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Speech Flirt

    During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man.…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Water Dorm

    When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing…
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    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor.  The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.


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A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.  He sidles up to the bar and announces:

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.  He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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