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More Jokes

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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
  • checkbook

    Checking Newbie

    Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new…
  • fishing

    Fishing and Sisters

    A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
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    Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor

    *Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor** The patient before you was a goat.* Instead…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Election Poetry

    In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great…
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    Actual Medical Records

    The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Rope Response

    A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening…
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    First Time Babysitter

    A young girl was babysitting for the first time - beginning her shift shortly after…
  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Windy Walk

    So George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is…
  • soap bubbles

    Soap and Water

    A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, who he knew was an unkempt…

Truth About Children:

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- Celibacy is not hereditary.

- Familiarity breeds children.

- For adult education, nothing beats children.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

- You can learn many things from children...  like how much patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

- The best thing to spend on your children is time.

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