logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Truth About Children

Truth About Children:

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- Celibacy is not hereditary.

- Familiarity breeds children.

- For adult education, nothing beats children.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

- You can learn many things from children...  like how much patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

- The best thing to spend on your children is time.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Aging

    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
  • Default Image

    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
  • Default Image

    Resume Help

    My husband, an auto mechanic, was looking for higher-paying work and asked me to write…
  • picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar

    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
  • Default Image

    Smoke Detector Lesson

    One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our…
  • Default Image

    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
  • Default Image

    Airline Announcements

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture"…
  • Default Image

    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
  • Default Image

    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
  • Picture of a student pilot

    Tips For Student Pilots

    Tips for student pilots. 1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. 2. If you push…
  • Default Image

    Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office…
  • boots

    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…
  • Default Image

    Proud Rooster

    A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member…
  • Default Image

    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
  • Default Image

    Skinny Lumberjack

    A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a…