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More Jokes

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    Waiting For A Table

    When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up…
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    Proper Attire

    Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that…
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    Finish Paving

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
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    Coffee Choices

    In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to…
  • sky scraper

    Elevator Repair

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    Today I didn't Do It

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three…
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    Riding Dead Horses

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
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    Cat Joke

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him…
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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
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    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…
  • wise owl

    Words and Questions From the Wise

    *Words and Questions From the "Wise"* I intend to live forever. So far, so good. If…
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    First Passport

    At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport. He was told he'd need a birth…
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    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
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    First Job Hunting

    Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an…

Truth About Children:

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- Celibacy is not hereditary.

- Familiarity breeds children.

- For adult education, nothing beats children.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

- You can learn many things from children...  like how much patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

- The best thing to spend on your children is time.

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