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More Jokes

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    Rope Response

    A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening…
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    "Brake Down"

    My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable…
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    If Airlines Sold Paint

    *If Airlines Sold Paint*Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all…
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    Soccer Quotes

    "My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'DAVID BECKHAM "I would…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
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    Rustic Dining

    As a trail guide in a national park, Danny ate with the rest of the seasonal staff in a…
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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------Ring...…
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    Information Assistance

    "Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One…
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    Waking Up Grumpy

    A marriage counsellor was attempting to find out something about his patient's attitude…
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    The Envelope Please

    Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who…
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    What Am I?

    Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had…
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    Drum Sounds

    A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty…
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    How Did You Get Me?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…

Truth About Children:

- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

- A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

- A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

- A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

- Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing home.

- Celibacy is not hereditary.

- Familiarity breeds children.

- For adult education, nothing beats children.

- Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

- Having children will turn you into your parents.

- If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

- Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

- You can learn many things from children...  like how much patience you have.

- Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it

- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

- The best thing to spend on your children is time.

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