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    Sick Days

    It was the toughest experience of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
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    Government Car

    As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Roman Numerals

    One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report…
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    Removing The Dents

    A goober left his car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and…
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    Chapatti Riddle

    In a party one of Pastor Tim's friends asked him how many chapattis he could eat with an…
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    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…
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    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…
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    Tub Baptism

    A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church.…
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    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
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    What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means

    1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his…

turkey dinner hotlineTRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how to cook a Turkey from the experts.

Thanksgiving Dinner on the Run
A woman called the Butterball Turkey Hotline to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey.  To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed.  The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still running around outside."

Tofu turkey? 
No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without turkey.  A restaurant owner in California wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.

Then there's the lady who was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one big enough for her family.  She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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