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    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
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    Useful Work Phrases

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    Call To Mom

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    Computer Help Desk

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  • A dad gives his daughter getting a shoulder ride.

    But Daddy

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    Rules for Editing

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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    $100 Coffee

    A street person approached a passer-by and said, "Sir, would you give me $100 for a cup…
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    Camping Hints

    When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
  • public speaking

    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
  • picture of university building

    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…
  • father's day triplets

    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…

It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said "Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

"No" he replied. "They're all dead."

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