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    Photo Apology

    Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman…
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    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
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    Stuffed Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
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    Wakeup Fight

    Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to…
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    Corporate Can-Do

    Programmer to Team Leader:"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve…
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    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
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    Golden Bear Answer

    A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Letter From Mom

    When the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My…

snailsTwo snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys want a ride on my back"?

One of the snails took him up on his offer and off he went.

As the turtle reached the intersection another turtle came along and crashed into him. The poor little snail was thrown and killed.

A cop investigating the accident began questioning the dead snail's buddy. "What happened?" he asked.

The little snail replied, "I don't know it all happened so fast."

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