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  • new years_eve_white_hat

    Newlywed Compromise

    For our first New Year's together as a married couple, my wife offered me a choice of…
  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
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    Yale Educated

    The bank manager noticed the new clerk was an goober at counting money and adding up…
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    New Brain Study

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    Marriage Proposal

    Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
  • weight scale 2

    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Dear Abby, Dear Reader

    Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure…
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    Lost Balloon

    A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots…
  • school house

    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
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    Talking Surprise

    On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses.…
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    Just Like Mother

    Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…

'Twas the night before finals,

And all through the college,

The students were praying

For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,

But none touched their beds,

While visions of essays

Danced in their heads.

Out in the sports field,

There were some throwing,

In hope that some exercise

Would get their brains going.

In my own apartment,

I had been pacing,

Dreading all those exams

I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,

His nose in his books,

And my comments to him

Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,

And brewed a new pot,

No longer caring

That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,

But my thoughts were all muddy,

My eyes went a’ blur,

I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"

I said with a shiver,

But each place I called

Refused to deliver.

I'd pretty much concluded

Life is unfair and cruel,

Since our futures all depend

On grades made in school.

When all of a sudden,

Our door opened wide,

And Patron Saint Put-It-Off

Ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless,

Her manner was mellow,

She looked at the mess

And started to bellow:

"Why should us students

Make such a fuss,

About what those teachers

Toss out to us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!

On Last Year's Exams!

On Wingit and Slingit,

And Last Minute Crams!"

Her message delivered,

She vanished from sight,

But we heard her laughing

Outside in the night.

"Your teachers won't flunk you,

So just do your best.

Happy Finals to All,

And to All, a good test."

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