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    Coach Call

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    Special Delivery

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    Plane Seat

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    Just Like Mother

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    College Nerves

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    Bicycle Accidents

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    French Dream

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    Lost Ticket

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    Golden Bear Answer

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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

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    Carpenter Request

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    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

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    Bag of Chickens

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    6 Legged Turkey

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'Twas the night before finals,

And all through the college,

The students were praying

For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,

But none touched their beds,

While visions of essays

Danced in their heads.

Out in the sports field,

There were some throwing,

In hope that some exercise

Would get their brains going.

In my own apartment,

I had been pacing,

Dreading all those exams

I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,

His nose in his books,

And my comments to him

Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,

And brewed a new pot,

No longer caring

That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,

But my thoughts were all muddy,

My eyes went a’ blur,

I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"

I said with a shiver,

But each place I called

Refused to deliver.

I'd pretty much concluded

Life is unfair and cruel,

Since our futures all depend

On grades made in school.

When all of a sudden,

Our door opened wide,

And Patron Saint Put-It-Off

Ambled inside.

Her spirit was careless,

Her manner was mellow,

She looked at the mess

And started to bellow:

"Why should us students

Make such a fuss,

About what those teachers

Toss out to us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!

On Last Year's Exams!

On Wingit and Slingit,

And Last Minute Crams!"

Her message delivered,

She vanished from sight,

But we heard her laughing

Outside in the night.

"Your teachers won't flunk you,

So just do your best.

Happy Finals to All,

And to All, a good test."

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