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  • milk2

    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Construction Noise

    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending a music festival. Just as I stopped…
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    No Ears, One Question

    Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site. One day on the site there is a massive…
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    Newlywed Repairs

    A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    Golf Questions

    Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.Nadine: TELL me about it!…
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    Patient Problem

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    New Brain Study

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    That Line Thing

    If you work with someone like this, you have my condolences. One of our servers crashed.…
  • picture of dad and son

    Dad's Pay Check

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern.

2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.

3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.

5. Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.

6. No one will overeat.

7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.

8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

9. You'll get to the desserts even quicker.

10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

12. You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

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