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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Thomas

    A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a…
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    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
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    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Art Good News/Bad News

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
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    Graduation Speech Notes

    When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from…
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    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
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    Great Writing

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great…
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    Wake Up!

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the…
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    Miracle Toddler Diet

    Miracle Toddler DietLosing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.The problem is,…
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    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern.

2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.

3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.

5. Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.

6. No one will overeat.

7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.

8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

9. You'll get to the desserts even quicker.

10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

12. You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

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