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More Jokes

  • guitar bumper sticker

    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
  • church people

    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
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    Bad News From The Doctor

    A man hadn't been feeling well at all, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up.…
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    Dog Growth

    A distraught dog owner called his vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained…
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    Vet Come Back

    Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one…
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    Newbie Preacher

    A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a…
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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Moth Madness

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    Construction Noise

    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending a music festival. Just as I stopped…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 1

    ~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one…
  • car old

    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims these items, it really means: - rough condition = too bad to lie…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…

car old1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

2. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.

4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days.

5. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."

6. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"

7. While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.

8. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.

9. You keep losing dates on left turns.

10. Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

11. Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.

12. It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.

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