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More Jokes

  • picture of a turkey

    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Travelling Too Light

    A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in…
  • picture of a serious sister

    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
  • picture of for rent sign

    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    Unbreakable

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
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    Seatmate Choice

    The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to…
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    Truth About Children

    Truth About Children: - A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - A…
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    How To Give Your Cat A Pill

    I. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Back In My Day

    For those of us who remember the good old days. In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We…
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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…

car old1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

2. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.

4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days.

5. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."

6. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"

7. While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.

8. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.

9. You keep losing dates on left turns.

10. Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

11. Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.

12. It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.

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