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    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…
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    Oriskany Falls

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Tonsils

    A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
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    Setting The Table

    Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for…
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    Fair Trial

    A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,"Before I begin this trial, I…
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    Waiting For A Table

    When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up…
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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
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    Chocolate Calories

    A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a…
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    Online Support Group

    There's a new online support group for people who are addicted to the internet.It meets…
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    Inventions That Didn't Succeed

    The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine…

car old1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

2. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.

4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days.

5. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."

6. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"

7. While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.

8. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.

9. You keep losing dates on left turns.

10. Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

11. Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.

12. It hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.

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