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    Awake Tip

    Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat…
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    Centipede Snack

    A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

    How To Please Your I.T. Department [A quick check list for those who need to make…
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    AAADD

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    No Stairs

    An older lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Returned E-mail

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
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    Interesting Thoughts

    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it…
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    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
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    Goober Puzzle

    One morning this goober calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have…
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    Money

    Money can buy a house, but not a home.Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.Money can buy a…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
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    Duelling Barbers

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
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    True Calls to the IRS

    True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are…
32 Ways To Annoy People

1.    Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.

2.    Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

3.    Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4.    Sing along at the opera.

5.    Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6.    Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

7.    Practice making fax and modem noises.

8.    Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and them to your manager.

9.    Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

10.    Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

11.    Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.

12.    Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

13.    Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

14.    Staple papers in the middle of the page.

15.    Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

16.    Honk and wave to strangers.

17.    Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

18.    TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

19.    type only in lowercase.

20.    dont use any punctuation either
21.    Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

22.    Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

23.    As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

24.    Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. 
When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

25.    TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!

26.    While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

27.    Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook.  Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

28.    Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

29.    Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
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