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More Jokes

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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    Sneaking Into the Olympics

    Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs…
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    Happy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for…
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    Gladys Pun

    There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on…
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    Pet Training

    A rolled up newspaper can be an effective pet training tool when used properly.For…
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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…
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    Ol' Spot

    A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As…
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    Kid Comments

    * A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth ?"One lil' girl spoke up:…
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    Another Virus Warning

    ***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is…
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    You are a lousy cook if.…

    You are a lousy cook if.... Your family automatically heads for the table every time they…
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    Top 10 Signs that you company is planning to lay you off.

    10. You frequently overhear the CEO mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-You"9. The guys from the…
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    Nesting Birds

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    A Dog's Diary

    5:30am: Started the day as a hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway…
32 Ways To Annoy People

1.    Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.

2.    Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

3.    Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4.    Sing along at the opera.

5.    Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6.    Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

7.    Practice making fax and modem noises.

8.    Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and them to your manager.

9.    Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

10.    Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

11.    Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.

12.    Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

13.    Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

14.    Staple papers in the middle of the page.

15.    Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

16.    Honk and wave to strangers.

17.    Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

18.    TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

19.    type only in lowercase.

20.    dont use any punctuation either
21.    Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

22.    Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

23.    As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

24.    Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. 
When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

25.    TELL YOUR FRIENDS 4 DAYS PRIOR, THAT YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD!

26.    While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

27.    Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook.  Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

28.    Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

29.    Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
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