More Jokes

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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    I Want To Be A Bear

    I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but…
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    Cheap Rhymes With Jeep

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I…
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    Parrot Strings

    A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in…
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    Totally Out of Shape

    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…

Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college application:

"When I told my friends I was applying to LeHigh, they were like, no way, and I was like, yes way. And they were like, way cool."

"Four years of fees at your institution come to about $78,000. Just bill my father and mail me half the money. He'll never find out."

"First off, coach said there wasn't going to be no writing."

"To demonstrate my love for your school, I have spray-painted your logo on my town's water tower."

"College is probably the last place they'll look for me."

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