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More Jokes

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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…
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    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"9)…
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    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Lost Hunting

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    75 Stories

    Fred, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the…
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    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Overdue Rent

    Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings…
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    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
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    All Pro Turkey

    The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey…
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    To The Rescue

    One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant.…

*Unwritten Warning Labels*

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

On a microscope: Objects in view are larger and more alarming than they appear.

On alphabet blocks: Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

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