*Unwritten Warning Labels*
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"
On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.
On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.
On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.
On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.
On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.
On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.
On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.
On a microscope: Objects in view are larger and more alarming than they appear.
On alphabet blocks: Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.