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More Jokes

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    Melanie is Watching

    One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    The Bethelehem Innkeeper's Top 10 Excuses

    Here are the top ten excuses the Bethlehem Innkeeper gave for not giving Joseph and Mary…
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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Work Phrases Explained

    *Work Phrases Explained*Activate:To make carbons and add more names to the memo.Advanced…
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    Seatbelt Support

    I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
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    Drug Store Questions

    Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married.…
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    Goober Medical Terms

    enign.......................What you be after you be…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Laundry Husband

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…

*Unwritten Warning Labels*

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

On a microscope: Objects in view are larger and more alarming than they appear.

On alphabet blocks: Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

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