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More Jokes

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    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
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    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
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    Trapper's Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…
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    In-Flight Humor

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture,"…
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    Art That Sells

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings…
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    House Calls

    A pipe burst in a doctor's house, and he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked…
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    Military Inspection

    The colonel who served as inspector general in our command paid particular attention to…
  • bagel

    Bagel Storm

    It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets…
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    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
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    Wallet Thanks

    A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…
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    Read The Label

    A three-year-old boy went with his father to see a litter of kittens. On returning home,…
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    I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

    I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATUREToday at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase…
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    Doctor in the House

    A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in…
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    Payment Plan

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.Pete said…

*Unwritten Warning Labels*

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

On a microscope: Objects in view are larger and more alarming than they appear.

On alphabet blocks: Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

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