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More Jokes

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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    Country Tunes

    My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style…
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    Pastors' Good News/Bad News

    Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
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    Bush Gore Debate

    For those who didn't have time to watch the presidential debate, we've prepared this…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like…
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    Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

    1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"2. In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."3. "Your…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Employee of the Month

    Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of…
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    In-Flight Humor

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture,"…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
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    Super Golfball

    Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that…

*Unwritten Warning Labels*

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"

On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

On a microscope: Objects in view are larger and more alarming than they appear.

On alphabet blocks: Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

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