Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the same community I pastor in.
Mark is a very, very good friend of mine. If friendships were assigned a rank Mark would be much more than a major friend – he would be a general friend. Of course since friendships aren’t assigned ranks all I can say is that Mark is so much more than a general friend. To me he is a major friend.
Mark also has a PhD. This makes him a doctor friend – but he’s not the kind of doctor you go to for medical help. Once I did turn my head and cough for Mark, but that was just to be polite and avoid coughing on him. Really, we’re just friends.
Why am I telling you so much about Mark? Simply to share the following e-mail conversation his brother and his brother’s wife had with their kids while they were away on holidays.
We are in a really nice cabin on a river. Our cell phones do not pick up a signal however. If there is a need to contact us send an email (we do have wifi). There is a phone here but we can't tell what the number is. The owner of the cabin is Michael ****** (866) 555-6789.
We love you.....be kind to each other! Mom
Hey mom, the house burnt down, all your plants died, David is missing, Mark got arrested, the lawn is trashed, I wrecked Mark’s truck into all three cars, and James left and hasn’t come back since you left.
Much love, Joel
Call State Farm, buy Mom some roses, send Picasso to find David, get a bond to spring Mark, add a little nitrogen fertilizer to the grass, put some books out on the front step to lure James home, then turn yourself in to the police.