logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Vacation E-mails

Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the same community I pastor in.

Mark is a very, very good friend of mine.  If friendships were assigned a rank Mark would be much more than a major friend – he would be a general friend.  Of course since friendships aren’t assigned ranks all I can say is that Mark is so much more than a general friend.  To me he is a major friend.

Mark also has a PhD.  This makes him a doctor friend – but he’s not the kind of doctor you go to for medical help.  Once I did turn my head and cough for Mark, but that was just to be polite and avoid coughing on him.  Really, we’re just friends.

Why am I telling you so much about Mark?  Simply to share the following e-mail conversation his brother and his brother’s wife had with their kids while they were away on holidays.

E-mail #1

We are in a really nice cabin on a river.  Our cell phones do not pick up a signal however.  If there is a need to contact us send an email (we do have wifi). There is a phone here but we can't tell what the number is.  The owner of the cabin is Michael ****** (866) 555-6789.

We love you.....be kind to each other! Mom

E-Mail #2

Hey mom, the house burnt down, all your plants died, David is missing, Mark got arrested, the lawn is trashed, I wrecked Mark’s truck into all three cars, and James left and hasn’t come back since you left.

Much love, Joel

E-Mail #3

Call State Farm, buy Mom some roses, send Picasso to find David, get a bond to spring Mark, add a little nitrogen fertilizer to the grass, put some books out on the front step to lure James home, then turn yourself in to the police.

Love Dad

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Good News Dewey

    Olga phoned her husband, Dewey, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Dewey, "but…
  • Default Image

    Cat Sale

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
  • Default Image

    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
  • Default Image

    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
  • Default Image

    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
  • Default Image

    Hunting Feedback

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
  • Default Image

    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
  • Default Image

    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
  • Default Image

    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
  • Default Image

    Golf Deduction

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth…
  • Default Image

    Party Advice

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly…
  • Default Image

    Latin Lesson

    "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song,…
  • phone2

    Day Off From School

    On Monday a call came in to the school receptionist. "Hello. Please mark William absent…
  • Default Image

    Late Excuse

    Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story…
  • Default Image

    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…