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    The Front Pew

    An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at…
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    Government Farm Visit

    A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Dog Growth

    A distraught dog owner called his vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained…
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    Talking Surprise

    On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses.…
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    Wise President

    When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Military Haircut

    Tiring of the same old buzz haircut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went…
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    That's Hospital Coverage!

    Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for…
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    Flower Switch

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Read Carefully

    My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the…
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    Take Two Instead

    A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk…
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    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Three Times Seven

    Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The…
A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss' kind offer.

The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?" The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.

"Well, what are they?" asked the boss.

"The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper's circulation."

The boss asked him what the other reason was.

"The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper's circulation."
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