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  • church people

    Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    - Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements. - In Christmas play, Joseph seen…
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    Record Store

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    Hiccups

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    Missing Bags

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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

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    Still More Bulletin Bloopers

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    50 Years - 5 Minutes

    On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of…
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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

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    Three Chairs

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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Goober Guess

    This goober named Jed was walking down the road one day when he came across his friend,…
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    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
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    $100.00 Please

    A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.…
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    Preacher's Best Years

    A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help…

A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East.

Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them that while they were gone, he had had a new church built. "It's the finest building money can buy, vicar," said the man. "No expense was spared." And he was right. It was a magnificent edifice both outside and in.

But there was one striking difference. There was only one pew, and it was at the very back. "A church with only one pew?" asked the vicar.

"You just wait until Sunday," the rich man said.

When the time came for the Sunday service, the early arrivals entered the church, filed onto the one pew and sat down. When the pew was full, a switch clicked silently, a circuit closed, the gears meshed, a belt moved and, automatically, the rear pew began to move forward. When it reached the front of the church, it came to a stop. At the same time, another empty pew came up from below at the back and more people sat down. And so it continued, pews filling and moving forwards until finally the church was full, from front to back.

"Wonderful!" said the vicar, "Marvelous!"

The service began, and the vicar started to preach his sermon. He launched into his text and, when 12 o'clock came, he was still going strong, with no end in sight. Suddenly a bell rang, and a trap door in the floor behind the pulpit dropped open.

"Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!"

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