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More Jokes

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    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
  • office woman

    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Ticket Excuse

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…
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    "Dilbert Quote" Contest

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to…
  • A funny joke about a man who takes up tennis later in life.

    Tennis Talk

    A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise so he decided to play…
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    Dr. Dress

    During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room.…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Dog Barking Payback

    A wife and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has…
  • If General Motors had a car help line

    Car Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"

The clerk replied, "Canned or frozen?"

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