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More Jokes

  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    You Get What You Paid For

    During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:…
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    Environmental Problem

    This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of Environmental…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 2

    ~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon…
  • kitchen old

    Hearing Test

    A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Late Excuse

    Harry came into the office an hour late for the third time in a week. "What's the story…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…
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    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
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    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
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    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner...

One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."

"Oh, is that so?" replied the other. "I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you."

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