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More Jokes

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    Mental Test

    A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host naturally…
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    Happy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for…
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    Odd News Reports

    Odd News Reports.....*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…
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    Procrastinator's Creed

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall…
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    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…
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    Birds and Bees

    Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school. When the boy reached the…
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    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…
  • picture of a thanksgiving turkey

    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Circle Stand

    Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The…
  • italian pizza

    Foreign Pizza

    An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so…
  • soup

    First Words

    The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his…

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner...

One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."

"Oh, is that so?" replied the other. "I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you."

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