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    Milk Switch

    To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods,…
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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Hawaii Pronunciation

    Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument. "It's…
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    Rice Preference

    The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of…
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    How To Speak English Properly

    *How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Talking Horse

    A jogger, running down a country road, is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey! Come…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Unknown Reindeer

    The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Age

    When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.…
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    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…
The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning.

Of course, I was excited, but that didn't stop me from asking for my new title to be changed to Vice President of Corporate Planning and Research.

"Why?" asked the chairman.

"Because," I said, "our organization uses abbreviated job titles, and I don't want be known as VP of CRAP."
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