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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Graceless at Grandma's

    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Swindled

    A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it.…
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    Dangerous Cargo

    Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Zoo Thank You

    As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of the Zoo, Sally occasionally receives…
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    In the Dorm

    In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and…
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    Bagel Shop Student

    "Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. My…
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    Bad News From The Doctor

    A man hadn't been feeling well at all, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up.…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
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    Analytical Gunfighters

    Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town's main street, ready to draw…
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    Brain vs Brawn

    The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in…

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf".

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

"Normal": A setting on a washing machine.

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

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