More Jokes

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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Raise Request

    Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want…
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    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
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    How To Photograph A New Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw…
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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
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    Exemplary Offspring

    Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring."There…
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    Johnny Hollers

    Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay everyone…
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    Battery Life

    An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for…
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    Barbecue Forks

    As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Half Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf".

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

"Normal": A setting on a washing machine.

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

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