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Wacky Definitions

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning "tone deaf".

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

"Normal": A setting on a washing machine.

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

More Jokes

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    Fore!

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    How To Please Your I.T. Department

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    Restroom Bugs

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    Perfect Mate

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    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…
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    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Project Picture

    My 12 year old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

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    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
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    Strangest Recording

    I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day. It said,…
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    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a…