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More Jokes

  • chickens

    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    Money Call

    A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and…
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    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
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    Four Letter Surgery

    Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm ok but…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
  • woman old3

    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…
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    Progressive Motherhood

    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here,…
  • peat moss

    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Happy Songs

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    Moving In Motivation

    My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered. While our new house was being built,…
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    Tip Revenge

    A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the…
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    More Musings

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged…
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    Waking Up

    This week a man awoke from a coma that had lasted for 62 years. His first question was,…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…

Warning Labels!

7 Up:

Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Vicks Nyquil Gel Caps:

Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.

Jonsreds Chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Windex:

Do not spray in eyes.

McDonald's Coffee:

Warning - Contents may be hot.

Bayer Aspirin:

Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

Liquid Plummer:

Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Miller Lite:

Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Komatsu Floodlight:

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.

Tonyang Lighting Screwdriver:

Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.

Moet White Star Champagne:

Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

Energizer AAA 4 Pack:

If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Boot's Children’s Cough Medicine:

Do not drive a car or run machinery.

Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Mr. Bubbles:

Keep out of reach of children.

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

Craftsman Push Mower

Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Sainsbury Peanuts (Read Comments)

Warning: This product contains nuts.

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