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More Jokes

  • auto mechanic1

    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
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    New Number

    We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on…
  • preacher2

    Hurry Home

    It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a…
  • microphone

    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…
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    Retirement Savings

    Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
  • Default Image

    New Friend Sincerity

    Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to…
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    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    Tap Away

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
  • plane-passenger-window

    Computerized Airline

    The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without…
  • preacher1

    Board Meeting

    After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church…
  • Default Image

    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…
  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…

Warning Labels!

7 Up:

Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Vicks Nyquil Gel Caps:

Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.

Jonsreds Chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Windex:

Do not spray in eyes.

McDonald's Coffee:

Warning - Contents may be hot.

Bayer Aspirin:

Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

Liquid Plummer:

Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Miller Lite:

Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Komatsu Floodlight:

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.

Tonyang Lighting Screwdriver:

Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.

Moet White Star Champagne:

Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

Energizer AAA 4 Pack:

If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Boot's Children’s Cough Medicine:

Do not drive a car or run machinery.

Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Mr. Bubbles:

Keep out of reach of children.

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

Craftsman Push Mower

Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Sainsbury Peanuts (Read Comments)

Warning: This product contains nuts.

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