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More Jokes

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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Medical Alert

    A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what…
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    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
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    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek

    *18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious…
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    What It Means

    Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.She told the Census…
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    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
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    Fruit Cake Top Ten

    Top Ten Uses for Fruit Cake10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.9. Use…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    18 Wheeler

    There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the…
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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…

Warning Labels!

7 Up:

Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Vicks Nyquil Gel Caps:

Use of this product in conjunction with alcohol or sedatives may cause drowsiness.

Jonsreds Chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Windex:

Do not spray in eyes.

McDonald's Coffee:

Warning - Contents may be hot.

Bayer Aspirin:

Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

Liquid Plummer:

Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Miller Lite:

Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Komatsu Floodlight:

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark.

Tonyang Lighting Screwdriver:

Use 3 pieces of batteries on 4.

Moet White Star Champagne:

Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.

Energizer AAA 4 Pack:

If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

Boot's Children’s Cough Medicine:

Do not drive a car or run machinery.

Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Mr. Bubbles:

Keep out of reach of children.

Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

Craftsman Push Mower

Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Sainsbury Peanuts (Read Comments)

Warning: This product contains nuts.

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