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    Parting Words

    A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"9)…
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    Not For Lunch

    My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about…
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    AMAP

    The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I…
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    Nutritious Eating

    According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Blind Ambition

    Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of…
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    Workplace Insanity

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace…
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    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
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    Public Servant Sentence

    "Write a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote, "The…
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    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.One is a…
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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house.

~ Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.

~ Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.

~ Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.

~ Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.

~ "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.

~ Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.

~ Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.

~ Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."

~ Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."

~ Reverse his contact lenses in their case.

~ Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.

~ Superglue the corners of the pages of his Sport Illustrated magazine together.
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