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  • guard dog

    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    Flight Time

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Restaurant Line

    A well-put together, elderly gentleman left his Maserati Gran Turismo with the valet,…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
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    Coverup Catch

    This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without…
  • passenger window on plane

    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Athiest Groceries

    There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Everyday, when the lady…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…

Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter.

At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion.

But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry.  I can't seem to make out what I've written down."

Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

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