logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Driver's License Examiners

    While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau…
  • Default Image

    Goober Mirror

    Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the…
  • Default Image

    Another Reason Not To Drink

    This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It…
  • Default Image

    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
  • Default Image

    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
  • Default Image

    Let's Play House

    A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and…
  • airplane1

    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
  • Default Image

    Exercise Program

    Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor…
  • Default Image

    Bike Training

    Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late…
  • Default Image

    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
  • Default Image

    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
  • Default Image

    Procedure Recall

    As a resident physician in radiology, I was speaking with the man whose wife was about to…
  • Default Image

    One-liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
  • Default Image

    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
  • Default Image

    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…

What a teacher says and what he/she really means.

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.

Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.

Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.

Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.

Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.

Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.

Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.

Really means: He's a bully.

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.

Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.

Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.

Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.

Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!

Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.

Powered By JFBConnect