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    Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Computer Hacker

    10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.9. He's won the…
  • italian pizza

    Foreign Pizza

    An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so…
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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
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    Too Late To Date

    An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no male…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    Special Delivery

    It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss…
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    Fathering

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are…
  • pictures of solar eclipse

    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Teaching Math

    Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging…
  • university

    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…

What a teacher says and what he/she really means.

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.

Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.

Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.

Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.

Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.

Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.

Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.

Really means: He's a bully.

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.

Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.

Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.

Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.

Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!

Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.

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