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More Jokes

  • combination lock

    Combination Faith

    The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Military Intials

    When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary…
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    Caught in the Act

    I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in…
  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
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    Business Report

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
  • boy

    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Things Mom Doesn't Want To Hear

    "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"1. I swallowed the goldfish.2. Your…
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    Roman Numerals

    One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report…
  • chickens

    Chickens in the Sack

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. There were two…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Board Meeting

    After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church…

What a teacher says and what he/she really means.

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.

Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.

Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.

Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.

Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.

Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.

Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.

Really means: He's a bully.

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.

Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.

Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.

Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.

Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!

Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.

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