More Jokes

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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
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    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
  • Picture of paper and envelope

    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
  • tail light

    Helpful Mechanic

    Sally told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was…
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    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
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    Looking For The Lift

    As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a…
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    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…
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    Medical Term Needed

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Lawyer News

    "I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad…
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    Sibling Takes

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    Freedom Peppers

    A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says, "Hey, how much for these…
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    Hard to Pronounce

    As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I…

What a teacher says and what he/she really means.

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.

Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.

Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.

Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.

Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.

Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.

Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.

Really means: He's a bully.

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.

Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.

Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.

Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.

Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!

Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.

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