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More Jokes

  • movie seats

    More things you would never know without the movies

    The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The…
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    More To Think About

    * Ever Wondered Why ....???? If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars…
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    Rustic Dining

    As a trail guide in a national park, Danny ate with the rest of the seasonal staff in a…
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    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
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    New Neighbor

    My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son, Billy, and one of his…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
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    Camping Hints

    When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the…
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    Flight Delay Announcement

    A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they…
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    Dads and Babies

    My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom,"…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
  • train station

    No Speaka Da German

    A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed…
  • picture of a speedometer

    Back Seat Johnny

    A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little…
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    Proper Attire

    Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that…
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    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…

What a teacher says and what he/she really means.

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.

Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.

Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.

Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.

5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.

Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.

6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.

Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.

7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.

Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.

8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.

Really means: He's a bully.

9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.

Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.

10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.

Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.

11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.

Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.

12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.

Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.

13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!

Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.

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