logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    New Passport Photo

    Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old…
  • Default Image

    Keyboard Jockey Exercise

    For those keyboard jockeys (those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day)…
  • Default Image

    Cruising

    These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.1. (For this one, you have…
  • Default Image

    Pick a Hymn

    One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and…
  • Default Image

    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…
  • Default Image

    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
  • man headphones

    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…
  • Default Image

    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
  • Default Image

    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
  • Default Image

    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
  • Default Image

    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…
  • Default Image

    Station Help

    An elderly man was standing in front of the ticket office in Grand Central Station. A…
  • Default Image

    Farewell Song

    There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a…
  • ski fall

    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
  • Default Image

    Pessimistic Friend

    An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found…

doctor fileWhat doctors say, and what they're really thinking:

"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

"Welllllll, what have we here...?"
He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.

"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.

"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time.
--or-- I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

"Let's see how it develops."
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.

"Let me schedule you for some tests."
I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
I think I'm going to throw up.

"This may smart a little."
Last week two patients bit off their tongues.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?"
I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?

"This should fix you up."
The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

"Everything seems to be normal."
Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.

"There is a lot of that going around."
That's the third one this week! I'd better learn something about this.

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thankfully I'm off next week.

Powered By JFBConnect