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More Jokes

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    Wimpy Dad

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into…
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    The Head Hog

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    Goobers In Ditch

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    Political Faith

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    New Medical Technology

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    Beware of Dog

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    English vs Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Bloopers in the Media

    "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange…
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    Dishwashed Verse

    Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Getting Younger

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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
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    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…
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    Sarahrella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day

10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person - period!

5.  For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom!  I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4.  A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3.  To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2.  To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no!  Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

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