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More Jokes

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    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Interview Question

    "Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Talking in Your Sleep

    A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The…
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    Goobers In Ditch

    Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we…
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    Forest Fire Fly By

    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
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    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…
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    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
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    Labor Pains

    When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three…

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day

10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person - period!

5.  For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom!  I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4.  A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3.  To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2.  To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no!  Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

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