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    What Does That Mean?

    Little Levi attended church for the first time with his buddy, Jimmy. As the pastor got…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
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    Landing Request

    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #3

    Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?All computers…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    Getting Closer

    Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit.…
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    Mrs. Pierpoint

    A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door.…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    Dog Sweater

    In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog.The…

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day

10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person - period!

5.  For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom!  I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4.  A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3.  To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2.  To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no!  Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

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