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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Homework Surprise

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    $50 Question

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    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    Toilet Repair

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    Fishing Mirror

    A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another…
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    Manservant

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    Just Pretend

    Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    No Ears, One Question

    Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site. One day on the site there is a massive…
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    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Understanding Art

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a…
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    Y zero K

    Message from: RomeJanuary 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day

10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person - period!

5.  For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom!  I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4.  A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3.  To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2.  To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no!  Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

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