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  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Word of Mouth

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  • gas cap

    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
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    Biblical Endorsements

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  • map forest

    Wilderness Guide

    "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless…
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    Q & A

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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

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  • military truck

    Private Peters

    The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training…
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    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
  • book idea

    Some Wacky Definitions

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    Bell Call

    The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take…
  • picture of priest

    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…
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    Away From His Desk

    As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all…

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day

10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that "Why is this person my mother?" way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty.

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person - period!

5.  For my teenager to announce "Hey, Mom!  I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!"

4.  A grocery store that doesn't have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3.  To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2.  To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, "Oh no!  Why me...!"

And the #1 thing that moms REALLY want for Mother's Day is.....

Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison

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