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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    Unfinished Quest

    Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he called for Geronimo and…
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    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
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    Age Question

    A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New…
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    New Computer Viruses You Should Know About

    *New Computer Viruses You Should Know About* THE LIBERAL VIRUS Before deleting all your…
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    Baby Wrap

    Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line Calls Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny…
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    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Play-Off Tickets

    A man goes to the Chicago Bear ticket office and inquires about purchasing play-off…
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    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
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    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
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    D.C. Flyover

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Corporate Change

    When the company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, I told my staff to…

"I'm going fishing."
really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Woman driver."
really means..."Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"It's a guy thing."
really means....."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Have you lost weight?' really means..."I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"It would take too long to explain."
really means....."I have no idea how it works."

"I got a lot done."
really means....."I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
really means....."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
really means....."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
really means....."I forgot our anniversary again."

"You know how bad my memory is."
really means....."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop' and the Vehicle Identification Numbers on every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"Hey I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
really means....."And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
really means....."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?' really means...."What did you catch me at?"

"I don't need to read the instructions."
really means....."I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'm not lost.  I know exactly where we are."
really means....."No one will ever see us alive again."

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