logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
  • Default Image

    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
  • Default Image

    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
  • Default Image

    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
  • Default Image

    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
  • Default Image

    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
  • Default Image

    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
  • Default Image

    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
  • Default Image

    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
  • Default Image

    Seeing Eye Dog

    A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to…
  • 50 percent

    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
  • Default Image

    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
  • Default Image

    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
  • Default Image

    How Gevernment Works

    Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress…
  • Default Image

    Sweat Dreams

    While on vacation with my son and his family, I shared a room with my 4 year old…

"I'm going fishing."
really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Woman driver."
really means..."Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"It's a guy thing."
really means....."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Have you lost weight?' really means..."I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"It would take too long to explain."
really means....."I have no idea how it works."

"I got a lot done."
really means....."I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
really means....."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
really means....."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
really means....."I forgot our anniversary again."

"You know how bad my memory is."
really means....."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop' and the Vehicle Identification Numbers on every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"Hey I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
really means....."And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
really means....."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?' really means...."What did you catch me at?"

"I don't need to read the instructions."
really means....."I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'm not lost.  I know exactly where we are."
really means....."No one will ever see us alive again."

Powered By JFBConnect