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More Jokes

  • lawn ornaments

    Lawn Ornaments

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…
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    Overdrawn

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Alcohol Consumption Warnings

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the…
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    Martha's Way Vs. My Way

    *Martha's Way Vs. My Way* Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's…
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    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
  • police pull over

    Speeding Ticket

    A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have…
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    Cat Joke

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Quick Thinking Clerk

    There is a story about a new clerk in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could…
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    Minibike

    A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted."I'll need about a…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
  • couple2

    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…

1.  Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2.  Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).

3.  Fantastic imagination!  Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).

4.  Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).

5.  Her athletic ability is marvelous.  Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).

6.  Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).

7.  Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer!  Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).

8.  John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).

9.  An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).

10.  I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).

11.  Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide).

12.  I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).

13.  Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yakking).

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