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    When One Shows Up

    A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there.…
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    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Cheap Hearing Aid

    A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much…
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    Young Dressing

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    18 Wheeler

    There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the…
  • prison

    Some Things You Can't Escape

    A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six…
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    Signs of E-Mail Addiction

    1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Resume Help

    My husband, an auto mechanic, was looking for higher-paying work and asked me to write…
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    Pay Mistakes

    One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything…
  • doctor office

    Little Voice

    A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I've eaten something that…
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    Why Dogs Can't Use Computers

    *Why Dogs Can't Use Computers*10. He's distracted by cats chasing his mouse.9. SIT and…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…

1.  Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2.  Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).

3.  Fantastic imagination!  Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).

4.  Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).

5.  Her athletic ability is marvelous.  Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).

6.  Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).

7.  Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer!  Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).

8.  John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).

9.  An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).

10.  I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).

11.  Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide).

12.  I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).

13.  Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yakking).

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