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    Helicopter Debate

    My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help…
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    Friends Like That

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Inventions That Didn't Succeed

    The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine…
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    Klopman Diamond

    A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the…
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    One-Liners

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Nothing in the known universe…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    Tech Support Fun

    A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…

1.  Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2.  Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).

3.  Fantastic imagination!  Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).

4.  Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).

5.  Her athletic ability is marvelous.  Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).

6.  Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).

7.  Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer!  Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).

8.  John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).

9.  An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).

10.  I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).

11.  Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide).

12.  I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).

13.  Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yakking).

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