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More Jokes

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    Piedmont Doors

    We got lucky when we heard the old Piedmont Hotel in Atlanta was getting a face-lift and…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Army Drab

    My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and…
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    Social Showdown

    Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a…
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    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Helping Out

    For a while my husband and I had opposite schedules. He worked during the day, and I…
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    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Goober Counsellor

    A goober began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One…
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    Murphy's Laws for Parents

    1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week. 2. Leak proof…
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    Software Training

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…

1.  Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2.  Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).

3.  Fantastic imagination!  Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).

4.  Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).

5.  Her athletic ability is marvelous.  Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).

6.  Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).

7.  Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer!  Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument).

8.  John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).

9.  An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).

10.  I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).

11.  Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide).

12.  I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade).

13.  Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yakking).

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