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More Jokes

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    Unbreakable

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Flashlight Defense

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    New Phonetic Alphabet

    The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Modern Potty Training

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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…
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    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Eating Worms

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…

couple old1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!

6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

8. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

9. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the seat.

10. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.

11. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

12. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.

13. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

14. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don't recognize you.

15. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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