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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
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    Dog Quotes

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    Lengthy Discourse

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    Yes, We Have No Chocolate

    A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice…
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    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Q & A

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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    The Flu Do-Si-Do

    Flu season will be here soon. Here's a square dance you can call when it does.The Flu…
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    More Dog Quotes

    "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown "In dog years, I'm…
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    Parachute Training

    While attending US Army's Airborne School.....The Day before our first jump, the…
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    Flower Request

    "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you…
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    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
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    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…

couple old1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!

6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

8. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

9. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the seat.

10. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.

11. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

12. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.

13. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

14. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don't recognize you.

15. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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