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More Jokes

  • bus interior

    Bus Pole

    While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole,…
  • porcupine

    Vet Come Back

    Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian in Kennebec County, Maine. He was well-known in town…
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    12 Days of Fastfood

    On the first day of Christmas,My drive through gave to me:A Big Bacon Classic with…
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    Top Ten Toys You May Have Trouble Finding This Year

    10. Sister's Dollhouse and Night Vision Ninja Assassin 9. Tuba Hero - World Tour8. Low…
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    Bank Line

    With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was standing in was moving very…
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    Parking Lot Stay

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
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    Camping with Holmes

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of…
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    Dark Parachute Jumps

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we…
  • paramedics doll

    Doll Play

    Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course.…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
  • restaurant meal2

    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…
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    Keeping Warm

    (switch this one around to suit your favourite/favorite make) Chevy has added wires to…
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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…

couple old1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!

6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

8. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

9. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the seat.

10. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.

11. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

12. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.

13. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

14. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don't recognize you.

15. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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