logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

When I'm An Old Lady

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done I'll hide under the bed.
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, 'She's so sweet when she's sleeping!'

~Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • owl

    What a Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
  • Default Image

    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
  • Default Image

    Tax Reform

    At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which…
  • Default Image

    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
  • Default Image

    How To Give Your Cat A Pill

    I. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were…
  • back to_school

    Fourth Grade Logic

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…
  • Default Image

    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
  • Default Image

    Job Impressions

    I had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always…
  • Default Image

    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
  • red life_saver

    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
  • Default Image

    Coffee For Grandma

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.…
  • Default Image

    Happy Birthday Ten Again

    A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love…
  • Default Image

    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
  • man outraged

    Women Drivers

    (Don't judge a joke by its title.) Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I…
  • Default Image

    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…