logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

When I'm An Old Lady

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done I'll hide under the bed.
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, 'She's so sweet when she's sleeping!'

~Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
  • mistake1

    Mistakes

    If a barber makes a mistake,It's a new style... If a driver makes a mistake,It is an…
  • Default Image

    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
  • money

    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
  • Default Image

    The Good Old Days

    Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and…
  • Default Image

    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
  • Default Image

    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
  • Default Image

    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
  • Default Image

    Country Tunes

    My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style…
  • Default Image

    Liberal Headlines

    If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal…
  • Default Image

    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
  • Default Image

    Ladder Borrow

    My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when…
  • Default Image

    Education At Work

    "What's the usual tip?" a man growled when, Jason, a college student delivered his pizza.…
  • Default Image

    Swanky Dining

    The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d,…
  • Default Image

    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…