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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25ยข ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
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    Goober Mirror

    Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the…
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    ESP Banking

    Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he…
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    Vacuum Manure

    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    Honeymoon Toast

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    French Dream

    A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class.To encourage him, his teacher said,…
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    Quick Thinking Dog

    A wealthy man decides to take a hunting safari in Africa, and takes his faithful dog with…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here".  What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM.?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

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