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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
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    Formal Letter

    At the end of last semester, a fellow student complained about how he failed the English…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Mike's Girlfriend

    After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him --…
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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Computer Problem Report Form

    COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM: 1. Describe your problem:…
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    Got Any Crackers

    A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any crackers? "Bartender says no.Duck walks…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
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    Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

    1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"2. In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."3. "Your…
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    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
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    Prescription Labels

    A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day they were discussing the…
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    Organizational Changes at the North Pole

    Organizational Changes at the North PoleThe recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here".  What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM.?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

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