A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except for Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."