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    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
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    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    Exercise Program

    Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor…
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    Advertising Terms Explained

    *Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts…
  • train station

    No Speaka Da German

    A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed…
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    Soup Objects

    The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It…
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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
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    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
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    To The Rescue

    One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant.…
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    New Number

    We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on…
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    Singing Practice

    Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she…

An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.

"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.

"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."

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