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    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when…
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    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Aging

    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
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    Late For Sunday School

    A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt…
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    Vacation E-mails

    Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the…
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    Looking Funny

    According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money…
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    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
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    Caddy Advice

    Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy,…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…
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    Marriage Counselling

    A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of…
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    Paper Eater

    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the…
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    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Shoe Repair

    Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from…

wise owl*Words and Questions From the "Wise"*

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

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