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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
  • crayons

    Cry On for Crayons

    The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Thank You Cards

    My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized.…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Patient Problem

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    Painted Sunset

    Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
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    Emergency Flowers

    I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was…
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    Work Show and Tell

    Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and…
  • Trojan Virus Warning

    Trojan Virus Warning

    Hey Hector, This was forwarded to me by Cassandra - it looks legit. Please distribute to…
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    Restaurant Line

    A well-put together, elderly gentleman left his Maserati Gran Turismo with the valet,…
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    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…

wise owl*Words and Questions From the "Wise"*

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

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