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    Vicar's Surprise

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month…
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    Punishment

    An irritated father complained to his golf buddy. "When I was a kid, my parents sent me…
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    How High Is It?

    An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150…
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    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…
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    Babysitting Reference

    We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college…
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    Learn Those Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I…
  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
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    Who Said That?

    If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're…
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    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
  • picture of a judge's gavel

    I'll Testify To That

    Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the…
  • boy sitting

    3rd Grader's Explanation of God

    Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, California, for his third grade…
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    Tax Reform

    At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which…
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    Cat Prayer

    Cat PrayerNow I lay me down to sleep,I pray this cushy life to keep.I pray for toys that…
*Words to Ponder*

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals"

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If at first your don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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