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More Jokes

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    28 Ounce Water Pump

    A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump."A what?" says…
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    Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Sewing Lesson

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…
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    Winter in Wisconsin

    It's winter in WisconsinAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hourAt 52 below! Oh, how…
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    Dog Employee

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Hunting Feedback

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Voting Tips

    A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    Getting Closer

    Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit.…

*Work Phrases Explained*

Activate:

To make carbons and add more names to the memo.

Advanced Design:

Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency's copywriters.

All New:

Parts not interchangeable with existing models.

Approved:

Needs revising

Automatic:

That which you cannot repair yourself.

Channels:

The trails left by interoffice memos.

Clarify:

To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Conference:

A place where conversation is substituted for the loneliness of thought and the dreariness of labor.

Confidential Memo:

No time to photocopy for the whole office.

Consultant:

Someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is and then walks away with the watch.

Forwarded For Your Consideration:

You hold the bag for a while.

FYI:

Found yesterday, interested?

In Conference:

Nobody can find him/her.

Let's Get Together On This:

I'm assuming you're as confused as I.

Note & Initial:

I'm not taking the fall for this myself.

Policy:

We can hide behind this.

Please See Me:

Come down to my office. I'm lonely.

Top Priority:

It may be stupid but the boss wants it.

We Are Taking A Survey:

We need more time to think of an answer or we can't find anyone willing to be responsible for this.

Will Advise In Due Course:

If we figure it out, we'll let you know.

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