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More Jokes

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    Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He…
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    Missing Bags

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area so I went to the lost luggage…
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    Vice President Pride

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
  • weight scale 2

    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
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    Rose Plague

    An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to…
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    Jewelry Store Application

    Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca…
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    Name Please

    A county traffic policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.…
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    Haiku Error Messages

    Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…
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    Word of Mouth

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    What's Good Tonight

    Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to…
  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Restroom Use Policy

    FROM: Human Resources DepartmentSUBJECT: Restroom Use PolicyIn the past, employees were…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…

*Work Phrases Explained*

Activate:

To make carbons and add more names to the memo.

Advanced Design:

Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency's copywriters.

All New:

Parts not interchangeable with existing models.

Approved:

Needs revising

Automatic:

That which you cannot repair yourself.

Channels:

The trails left by interoffice memos.

Clarify:

To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Conference:

A place where conversation is substituted for the loneliness of thought and the dreariness of labor.

Confidential Memo:

No time to photocopy for the whole office.

Consultant:

Someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is and then walks away with the watch.

Forwarded For Your Consideration:

You hold the bag for a while.

FYI:

Found yesterday, interested?

In Conference:

Nobody can find him/her.

Let's Get Together On This:

I'm assuming you're as confused as I.

Note & Initial:

I'm not taking the fall for this myself.

Policy:

We can hide behind this.

Please See Me:

Come down to my office. I'm lonely.

Top Priority:

It may be stupid but the boss wants it.

We Are Taking A Survey:

We need more time to think of an answer or we can't find anyone willing to be responsible for this.

Will Advise In Due Course:

If we figure it out, we'll let you know.

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