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How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace
=========================================================

1.  Page yourself over the intercom.  (don't disguise your voice)

2.  Ask people to call you "Captain"

3.  Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle
4.  Put a chair facing the printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

5.  Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting.  During he meeting eat five entire raw potatoes.

6 Insist that your e-mail address be:
zena_goddess_of_fire@c..."

7.  Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

8.  Put your garbage can on your desk.  Label it "IN".

9.  Send e-mail messages saying "free pizza, free donuts etc..." in the lunchroom; when people complain that there was none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."

10.  Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to espresso.

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