More Jokes

  • classroom

    Piranha Spell

    While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked…
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    911 Sees All

    Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
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    Signal Shot

    The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out…
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    How to Bathe a Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet…
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    Lost, Found Changed

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.It was found by an honest…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
  • office write

    Job Interview

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer…
  • Picture of a gas cap

    Trading Caps

    I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had…
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    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims ..., it really means ... - rough condition... too bad to lie about -…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…

How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace

1.  Page yourself over the intercom.  (don't disguise your voice)

2.  Ask people to call you "Captain"

3.  Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle
4.  Put a chair facing the printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

5.  Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting.  During he meeting eat five entire raw potatoes.

6 Insist that your e-mail address be:

7.  Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

8.  Put your garbage can on your desk.  Label it "IN".

9.  Send e-mail messages saying "free pizza, free donuts etc..." in the lunchroom; when people complain that there was none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."

10.  Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to espresso.

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