logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Y1K

Canterbury, England.  AD 999.

An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout Europe as the millennial year 1000 approaches, bringing with it the so-called "Y1K Bug," a menace which, until recently, hardly anyone had ever heard of.
Prophets of doom are warning that the entire fabric of Western Civilization, based as it now is upon monastic computations, could collapse, and that there is simply not enough time left to fix the problem.

Just how did this disaster-in-the-making ever arise?  Why did no one anticipate that a change from a three-digit to a four-digit year would throw into total disarray all liturgical chants and all metrical verse in which any date is mentioned?  Every formulaic hymn, prayer, ceremony and incantation dealing with dated events will have to be re-written to accommodate three extra syllables.  All tabular chronologies with three-space year columns, maintained for generations by scribes using carefully hand-ruled lines on vellum sheets, will now have to be converted to four-space columns, at enormous cost.  In the meantime, the validity of every official event, from baptisms to burials, from confirmations to coronations, may be called into question.

"We should have seen it coming," says Brother Cedric of St.  Michael's Abbey, here in Canterbury.  "What worries me most is that 'THOUSAND' contains the word 'THOU,' which occurs in nearly all our prayers, and of course, always refers to God.  Using it now in the name of the year will seem almost blasphemous, and is bound to cause terrible confusion.  Of course, we would always use Latin, but that might be even worse-the Latin word for 'THOUSAND' is 'mille'-which is the same as the Latin for 'mile.' We will not know whether we are talking about time or distance"

Stonemasons are already reported threatening to demand a proportional pay increase for having to carve an extra numeral in all dates on tombstones, cornerstones and monuments.  Together with its inevitable ripple effects, this alone could plunge the hitherto-stable medieval economy into chaos.

A conference of clerics has been called at Winchester to discuss the entire issue, but doomsayers are convinced that the matter is now one of personal survival.  Many families, in expectation of the worst, are stocking up on holy water and indulgences.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Job Application

    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food…
  • Default Image

    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
  • Default Image

    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
  • Default Image

    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…
  • Default Image

    Military Man

    A career military man, who had retired as a Master Sergeant, was telling the new recruits…
  • Default Image

    To The Rescue

    One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant.…
  • Default Image

    Ah, Newlyweds

    There are never any secrets! A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached,…
  • Default Image

    Forklift Economy

    After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Dewey was hired to work in a…
  • Default Image

    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
  • heart shaped_flower_petal_copy

    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
  • Default Image

    Coverup Catch

    This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without…
  • Default Image

    Repeat Position

    A lifeboat was called out to rescue a yacht in trouble. The coastguard, trying to get the…
  • kangaroo2

    How High Can You Go?

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty…
  • Default Image

    Kiss Good-bye

    "Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you…