logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Y2K Backup System

While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.

Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay.  This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P.E.N.C.I.L.).  This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing.  Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input.  Prior to use, the P.E.N.C.I.L. will require preparation and testing.  Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes).

Gripping the device firmly in your hand, proceed to scrape or grind the wooded end until it has a cone-like appearance.  The dark core area must be exposed to properly function.

Place a single sheet of computer paper on a smooth, hard surface.  Take the backup device, place the sharpened point against the paper, and pull it across the paper.  If properly done, this will input a single line.

CAUTION: Excessive force may damage components of the device or damage the data reception device.  If either the P.E.N.C.I.L.  or the paper are damaged, go back to the preparation instructions above.

Proper use of the device will require data simulation input by the operator.  Place the device against the computer page and form symbols as closely resembling the computer lettering system you normally use.  At the completion of each of the simulated letters, lift the device off the page, move it slightly to the right, replace it against the page, and form the next symbol.  This may appear tedious, and somewhat redundant, but, with practice, you should be able to increase your speed and accuracy.

The P.E.N.C.I.L.  is equipped with a manual deletion device.  The device is located on the reverse end of the P.E.N.C.I.L.  Error deletions operate similarly to the "backspace" key on your computer.  Simply place the device against the erroneous data, and pull it backwards over the letters.  This should remove the error, and enable you to resume data entries.

CAUTION: Excessive force may damage the data reception device.  Insufficient force, however, may result in less than acceptable deletion, and may require re-initialization of action as above.  This device is designed with user maintenance in mind.

However, if technical support is required, you can still call your local computer desk supervisor at (800)-YOU-GOOBER.

 

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
  • Default Image

    Amish Bumper Sticker

    While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following…
  • Default Image

    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
  • factory

    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…
  • Default Image

    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…
  • Default Image

    28 Ounce Water Pump

    A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump."A what?" says…
  • Default Image

    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
  • Default Image

    Head First Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a…
  • Default Image

    Fish Fight Story

    Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three…
  • Default Image

    Definition of a Bar-B-Que

    Definition of a Bar-B-QueIt's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man…
  • Default Image

    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…
  • weight scale 2

    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
  • Default Image

    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
  • Hudson river_plane

    NTSB Report on Flight 1549

    Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549. Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions…
  • Default Image

    Thoughtful Sidney

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a…