logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • bible person

    Biblical Spokespersons

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the…
  • Default Image

    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
  • restaurant meal3

    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
  • Default Image

    Old Goats

    A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a…
  • picture of elderly couple

    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
  • Default Image

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
  • Default Image

    Johnny Hollers

    Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay everyone…
  • Default Image

    What a Teacher Means

    What a teacher says and what he/she really means.1. Your son has a remarkable ability in…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Goober Ring

    Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for…
  • Default Image

    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
  • Default Image

    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • Default Image

    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
  • Default Image

    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
  • Default Image

    Millionaire's Driver

    Millionaire: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Millionaire: I always call my…

While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.

Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay.  This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P.E.N.C.I.L.).  This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing.  Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input.  Prior to use, the P.E.N.C.I.L. will require preparation and testing.  Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes).

Gripping the device firmly in your hand, proceed to scrape or grind the wooded end until it has a cone-like appearance.  The dark core area must be exposed to properly function.

Place a single sheet of computer paper on a smooth, hard surface.  Take the backup device, place the sharpened point against the paper, and pull it across the paper.  If properly done, this will input a single line.

CAUTION: Excessive force may damage components of the device or damage the data reception device.  If either the P.E.N.C.I.L.  or the paper are damaged, go back to the preparation instructions above.

Proper use of the device will require data simulation input by the operator.  Place the device against the computer page and form symbols as closely resembling the computer lettering system you normally use.  At the completion of each of the simulated letters, lift the device off the page, move it slightly to the right, replace it against the page, and form the next symbol.  This may appear tedious, and somewhat redundant, but, with practice, you should be able to increase your speed and accuracy.

The P.E.N.C.I.L.  is equipped with a manual deletion device.  The device is located on the reverse end of the P.E.N.C.I.L.  Error deletions operate similarly to the "backspace" key on your computer.  Simply place the device against the erroneous data, and pull it backwards over the letters.  This should remove the error, and enable you to resume data entries.

CAUTION: Excessive force may damage the data reception device.  Insufficient force, however, may result in less than acceptable deletion, and may require re-initialization of action as above.  This device is designed with user maintenance in mind.

However, if technical support is required, you can still call your local computer desk supervisor at (800)-YOU-GOOBER.

 

Powered By JFBConnect