logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

You are a lousy cook if.…

Picture of a chef with thumb downYou are a lousy cook if....

Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren.

Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yoghurt.

Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes like.

Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.

Your kids' favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.

Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.

Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.

No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
  • Default Image

    Dear Abby, Dear Reader

    Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure…
  • Default Image

    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
  • woman old4

    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people. ~ I trace my family history so I…
  • doctor

    Sleep Motivation

    An older man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a…
  • loveyou

    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
  • Default Image

    Living History Museum

    Marv took his family to visit a living history museum, which included seeing houses and…
  • Default Image

    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
  • Default Image

    The Woodcutter

    This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a…
  • face surprised

    Family Feud Answers

    *Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family…
  • Default Image

    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
  • phone number buttons

    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
  • Default Image

    Sports Injury

    Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so…
  • woman sleepy

    Sorry I'm Late

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
  • Default Image

    Golf Discovery

    A wife was getting tired of her husband golfing every Saturday, so she decided to go with…