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More Jokes

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    Helicopter Debate

    My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help…
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    That's It

    A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Rabbi Returns

    I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Lion Tamer

    A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Prescription Check

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
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    Offended Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Glacier Work

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
  • A funny joke about marriage

    Shoebox Doilies

    As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near…
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    Parking Solution

    A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the…

You Know It's Hot Outside When...

**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible

** you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man

** the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy"

** the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are even riper

** your pool water starts to boil in the sun

** the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot

** pigs complain about sweating like fat humans

** a scalding hot shower still cools you down

** people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames

** a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants

** the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves

** you need a spatula to remove your clothing

** you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather

** you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!

** you are sitting inside reading these jokes

** your brother's braces make blisters on his lips

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