More Jokes

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    Escaped Puppy

    I live across the street from a church. When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard…
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    Duck Food

    Duck : Do you have any duck food? Storekeeper: No Duck : Do you have any duck food?…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
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    Unsubscribe Directions

    To Unsubscribe From The CleanLaugh ListThough I know you all enjoy being on this list,…
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    One Seat Allowed

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by…
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    Arizona Rain

    A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes,…
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    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Insurance Check and Double Take

    Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage,…
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    Yes, We Have No Chocolate

    A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Come About

    A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    Thank You Cards

    My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized.…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…

You Know It's Hot Outside When...

**you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible

** you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man

** the swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra tasty crispy"

** the strawberries are ripe, and the cab drivers are even riper

** your pool water starts to boil in the sun

** the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot

** pigs complain about sweating like fat humans

** a scalding hot shower still cools you down

** people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames

** a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants

** the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves

** you need a spatula to remove your clothing

** you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather

** you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!

** you are sitting inside reading these jokes

** your brother's braces make blisters on his lips

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