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    White Gloves

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    Genetically Modified Food

    Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food: *Your hot dog…
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    The bookie slowly counted out the money into the old lady's wrinkled hands."Lady," he…
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    Apples for Teachers

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    Intelligence

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    Lost Friends

    Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    Dog Sweater

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    Substitute Teacher

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    Finish Paving

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    Duelling Judges

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    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door…
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You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when .......

1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. (never thought of that.....BUT)
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for a while.
18. "Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. .....You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
23. You think faster than the computer.
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.
25. Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say BRB.
27. Your teacher, spouse, or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB.  Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP".
29. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.
30. The same jokes you sent to one friend come back in five minutes from a mutual friend that you forgot to put on distribution.

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