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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Garage Wow

    There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his…
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    Late at Walmart

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  • bible person

    Biblical Spokespersons

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    A Few Shelves

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    Zoo Trip

    Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his…
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    Red, Yellow, Blue

    One afternoon, this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…

You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when .......

1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. (never thought of that.....BUT)
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for a while.
18. "Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. .....You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
23. You think faster than the computer.
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.
25. Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say BRB.
27. Your teacher, spouse, or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB.  Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP".
29. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.
30. The same jokes you sent to one friend come back in five minutes from a mutual friend that you forgot to put on distribution.

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