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More Jokes

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    Jumper

    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Tired of Rejection?

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    You Know You Are Over the Hill When

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    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
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    Thomas

    A man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, among other things, a…
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    Address Change

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…
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    Professor Turns Plumber

    A professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home leaked. He called a…
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    Top Ten things Men Understand about Women

    1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Just smile and pass it on!
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    Parking Concern

    While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.As I was lying…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…

You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when .......

1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL.
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. (never thought of that.....BUT)
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for a while.
18. "Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on AOL for 6 hours waiting for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. .....You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.
23. You think faster than the computer.
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**.
25. Being called a "newbie" is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say BRB.
27. Your teacher, spouse, or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
28. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB.  Leave your S/N and I^ll TTYL ASAP".
29. You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.
30. The same jokes you sent to one friend come back in five minutes from a mutual friend that you forgot to put on distribution.

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